Relationship has formed one of the most trending bases for discussion on Social Media, Novels, Religious deliberations, Teen interviews etc.
Most times, relationship deliberations end inconclusively especially when it has to do with dating between a young man and a woman, following misplaced ideas and priorities.
Dating relationship is the framework or the bedrock of marriage. That is, if two people in a relationship continue to misunderstand or misplace their priorities, if they fail to adjust positively to the psychological, emotional, mental, spiritual and the physical needs of the other person; if it manages to lead to marriage, it eventually crumbles.
Why Is That So?
Like I said earlier, it most times occur as a result of misplaced ideas and priorities.
Take for instance, the issue of spending money on a girlfriend or boyfriend. Some guys believe that unless they put a ring on the finger of their girlfriend, they should not expect shouldering their financial responsibilities. Some men feel cheated or intimidated when they meet ladies who place financial benefits as criterion for dating.
Ladies on the other hand feels cheated, used or underrated when the man they are dating fails to lavish money or shoulder their financial burdens.
Why This Controversy? – Misplaced ideas and priorities I guess.
First, I’m not sure any man is attracted to a dirty-looking shabby woman or a lady with zero fashion sense.
Secondly, men naturally are egotistical. They like to be noticed, hence their women. Some of them take pleasure in spending money on their women to achieve desired looks just to stand-out from other men and to make her the envy of her friends.
No sane man wants to hang out with a woman dressed in a combination of rags and some dirty-looking shoes with an unkempt hair.
His ability to strike a balance between not completely ignoring the needs of his woman and not becoming useless as a result of channeling all his income on her and her family so much so that his family and future are completely out of his plan is the difference.
I’m not sure any woman will feel proud seeing her man being beaten up and disgraced publicly for stealing or engaging in a ritual activity done in a bid to satisfy her financial demands. In as much as women generally are soft-natured and desires to be loved and pampered, they should do well to appreciate the effort and contribution of their men no matter how small.
Instead of placing financial benefit as criterion for dating thereby limiting her role or contribution to the success of her relationship, she should look out for values or positive traits to add to the relationship.
Finally, when a man makes sure he does not neglect the basic needs of his woman, and a woman on the other hand ensures she does not equate her presence in his life to financial benefits, then their ideas and priorities becomes visible and their vision clearer.
Written by Susan Dikeji