Western Relationship Books Cannot Solve Relationship Dispute in Africa


A good number of African people mostly those that have traveled beyond the shores of the African continent pride themselves of reading relationship books authored only by foreigners.


I once met a lady in a book shop in Kogi State. We were both selecting books on the shelve. I discovered there are books she pick up, after looking at the back page she drops them at once without a second thought. And there are some, she would pick up, look at the back page and flip through the pages for more reasons to purchase them.
I sensed she was biased, and I went closer to know what’s influencing her choice. She didn’t waste time in telling me that she don’t read books from Nigeria authors and blacks in general.

And I said “including African Americans?” she said “No! Black Americans are good”
“The fact is that African authors write jargon and are irrational in driving their points home.” She added.

At that point I had a good reason to reorient her mind; I made her understand that most Western authors who writes relationship books have not visited Africa even for once. And so cannot write books that can help our relationship and marriage system here in Africa, since our tradition, culture and values are not the same.
Foreign books on relationship, dating and marriage cannot bridge the gaps we found in our relationships because the suggestion and principles shared in such books were conceived based on the prevailing happenings around the writer. The instance and references are all based on experiences the writer found around them and not what happens in Africa. Most importantly, we do not share the same marriage system.

In the West, there is nothing wrong with contract marriage. Which is a man getting a lady to give him kids, pay her off the home after the agreed period. But this is not acceptable in Africa. African ladies get married and are expected to remain in marriage despite the condition.

Secondly, gender equality is a norm in the West but has not gained total acceptance here in Africa despite the push, by NGO’s.

To be continued…
By Sam Zewas
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